CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SQUID 🦑 🏍️ 📖

1. The European Association of Motorcycle Manufacturers is collaborating with policymakers and the aftermarket industry to implement stricter anti-tampering regulations for motorcycle exhaust systems and this spells BAD NEWS for Euro Street Squids. These regulations are aimed at reducing noise pollution. Noise pollution? My inline 4 banging off the rev limiter at every stop sign is a GIFT to my community. Pollution? I guess the used motor oil I dump down the storm drain is “pollution” also? JK, I definitely don’t do that. While not an outright ban, these regulations will require significant changes in the design and manufacturing of aftermarket exhausts. So that means your $800 Akra slip-on might cost $1600 now. Well this is Europe, so the velvet bag of gold coins you’ll trade for your exhaust will now be twice as filled with doubloons, or whatever currency they use.

2. Honda has unveiled the CB1000F Concept at the Osaka Motorcycle Show. This motorcycle is based off of the incoming CB1000 Hornet that we’re all eagerly anticipating. It blends modern (albeit somewhat recycled) engineering and retro flair. It has a round LED headlight, classic Honda two-tone racing colors, and a slim fuel tank and tail section. It is speculated that the CB1000F will replace the iconic CB1300 in Japan, and rival bikes like the Kawasaki Z9000RS. It’s pretty neat looking, but its a shame they didn’t put winglets on it.

3. Speaking of winglets, the new Ducati Panigale V4 has won the prestigious iF International Design Award. Isn’t this getting a little unfair? Can’t they let someone else get the design praise for once? 131 independent professionals recognized the motorcycle's outstanding design, and had no qualms about the dual swing arm or the catfish-looking face.

4. KTM says production has resumed at the company’s Mattinghofen facility, just in time for the Government-mandated 6 week paid summer vacation all European employees are entitled to. Despite claiming production has begun, KTM has not disclosed which models are currently being produced, which leads to some speculation. Are we still getting the 990 RC R? Maybe this pause has allowed time to reflect and realize that a Super Duke 1790 will be what reignites trust in the brand.

5. Oh, I didn’t read far enough. Turns out they’re investing their resources in building a bike in collaboration with designer German car tuner Brabus. That makes perfect sense! Brabus is developing a 1400 R, based on the 1390 Super Duke. Brabus isn’t a motorcycle company, or really even a car company. They’re a car tuning company. So essentially they’re just making an even more lavish version of the Super Duke. The goal is to make a motorcycle so powerful and bespoke, that dudes are willing to make their wives do OnlyFans just so they can afford one. Yeah, I’m good on that. I’ll be out here on my Grom having a grand ol’ time.

CONGRATS TO TOMMY JONES FROM TEXAS!

Tommy won our last Triumph Street Triple 765 RS Giveaway Bike! Be like Tommy and get yourself signed up at Yammienoob.co. We’ve got new giveaway bikes every single month this year, so you’ve got even more opportunities to win. Members get a behind the scenes look at what we’ve got cooking over here, including the queue of giveaways. Here is a teaser photo ⬇️ It will be officially announced on April 7th. 😎

BIG BRAIN SYMPOSIUM 👨‍🔬 🧠 🔬

TFW THE VOLUME OF YOUR EXHAUST = YOUR SENSE OF SELF WORTH