The Future of Motorcycling is Upon Us

CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SQUID 🦑 🏍️ 📖

1. What is one of the most difficult parts about riding a motorcycle? The darn thing is just on two wheels! It is up to the rider to ensure that the bike stays balanced and upright. This is a feat that is considerably more challenging when operating at slow speeds. But what if an OEM could engineer a solution to this balance dilemma? We’ve already got automatic transmissions, e-clutches, IMU sensors, stability aids, adaptive cruise control, obstacle avoidance, and the like. A system that keeps a motorcycle upright on its own is the final frontier for a nearly self-driving motorcycle. Speculation is stirring about the latest leaked Honda patent that might depict just that. Yamaha already explored this technology with their “MOTOROiD” concept, so I don’t think an automated steering/suspension device that helps maintain balance is out of the question for Honda. The fact that a motorcycle has two wheels and must be balanced the obstacle staring staring them in the face this whole time. It’s the last thing they need to accomplish in order to sell a motorcycle to every last human on Earth.

2. Honda has set a target goal for carbon-neutrality by 2050. Part of that goal involves electric vehicles. But for me, I am more excited about the way they’ve been building bikes out of corn. Okay, that might be an over generalization. But they’ve been making moves to find more sustainable materials in which to build components. Honda’s American VP Jay Joseph said, “We will no longer have to dig holes in the ground for finite materials and energy sources or bury spent materials in a hole in the ground at the end of their usable life.” Sounds reasonable to me? They’ve been using a material called Durabio, which is a polycarbonate resin made by Mitsubishi Chemical Group that is derived from inedible plant matter. (they must be talking about the boiled brussel sprouts my mother in law makes. am i right? ba-dum-tss 🥁). Durabio is already in use on bikes like the Africa Twin and NC750X.

3. Ruroc can sigh a breath of relief, I just found my new, least favorite helmet. The Intelligent Cranium Helmet company just debuted its new AI-powered smart helmet. It is equipped with voice commands, a front-facing camera, heads-up display, all while allowing for a 240 degree horizontal field of view. The helmet provides proximity alerts and built-in crash detection. Look, we all want people to be safe. But how many problems will actually be solved with this helmet? A significant portion of motorcycle crashes are a result of rider skill or negligence. Those involving other vehicles usually occur when a motorcycle is hit by a vehicle that doesn’t see them. So until a smart helmet can disrupt cellphone service within a 50 yard radius of the rider, forcing distracted drivers to put down their phones and be more vigilant, I’m not sure how many lives will be saved with an AI smart helmet. As for the convenience features, there are already action cameras and comm systems that cover most of the bases. I just don’t see the need to have Alexa riding pillion every time I put on my motorcycle helmet.

4. While the motorcycling industry continues marching onwards into the future, Kawasaki is just out here completing new side quests. First it was a supercharged bike, then a small displacement 4-cylinder, then a Hydrogen-powered bike, and now they are supposedly resurrecting their two-stroke technology. It’s a bold move in 2025. But I respect it. Kawasaki has a long history of merciless two-stroke machines, the H2 Mach IV “Widow Maker” comes to mind, of course. Unfortunately for all the street squids who think their 600s aren’t peaky enough in their power delivery, Kawasaki is certainly limiting their two-stroke platform to off-road bikes only. Although we can be sure some sick and twisted Kyle will do a supermoto conversion with one.

IS IT JUST ME, OR ARE THINGS

GETTING A LITTLE SILLY?

IT CAME FROM CRAIGSLIST - LIVE!

After taking a few weeks off due to the indomitable day-care virus that was brought into my home, the Yammie Noob Livestream is back and better than ever! The revered “It Came From Craigslist/Marketplace” format has been deeply engrained in the Yammie Noob lore. Now you little squids can enjoy the cringe in real time on the stream! Wednesdays at 6 PM CST on Youtube. Be there or be square.

BIG BRAIN SYMPOSIUM 👨‍🔬 🧠 🔬

TFW YOU LOVE MOTORCYCLES MORE THAN BEING MARRIED

Men only want one thing, and it is disgusting. 🏍️